HOW IT BEGAN

I was 8 months pregnant when my husband applied for the Border Patrol. I thought our lives were going pretty well, we both had decent jobs. He was with our local sheriffs department and I had been working for the State of Michigan for several years. We had just purchased our first home not even a year before and our second son was on the way.

When he told me that he had applied I was livid, what was so wrong with the way we had been living? I mean, if it isn't broken then why are we fixing it? He was quick to remind me of a conversation we had had about our futures. It was after a particularily grueling day at work and we were feeling unsatisfied with our daycare provider; in the mist of our misery that day we agreed that it would be great if my husband could work a job he really loved and at some point make enough money so I could be at home with our boys. Well, the Border Patrol apparently was the answer that my husband had found. I was unhappy about the idea. I spent many days throughout the next months slamming doors and shooting him dirty looks until I finally accepted the fact that this could be a really great thing for our family and that I was being selfish trying to prevent him from realizing his dreams.

I wish I could tell you that from that point on it was smooth sailing but though I am selfish, I am not a liar.

THE REAL ADVENTURE BEGINS

During my husbands time at the academy everything that could go wrong at home, went wrong. My sons and I took turns being sick the entire time, my new and wonderful nanny had to leave for two weeks for the burial of a relative, I was still working full time and attending college full time and both my grades and my work evaluations were reflecting the strain I felt. To top that all those great friends of ours who said, "If you need anything give me a call" were suddenly unavailable and even my family could not be bothered to help me. Despite the obstacles I somehow managed to sell our home, pack our belongings, and get my family to our destination; Willcox, Arizona. In the process I grew as a person, without him around to hold my hand I found out that yes I can kill a spider on my own, taking apart your kitchen drain to retrieve lost jewelry is easy if you follow on-line instructions (though putting it back together is a bit trickier and a plumber with charge you $90 to do it), and having to shovel snow will sculpt your biceps in no time. The academy also changed my husband--forced him to grow up a bit and it taught him discipline and gave him something to be proud of. In return, I am prouder still to be his wife.

That being said, I was really unhappy for a long time after we moved.  I missed the snow and the green grass, I had never been a stay-at-home mom before and I longed for ways to get out of the house or away from my kids for a bit. As a trainee, the hours were unpredictable and my husband spend several additional hours a week with a Spanish tutor. There was time when I felt shut-out, like he was more dedicated to his marraige to the Border Patrol then he was to me. We were here for 8 months before I went back home to visit. I took my sons but my husband stayed behind. The time away is what made me realize that Arizona was okay and when the plane touched down in Tucson I cried--I have never been happier to be "home".

TODAY

As I write this my husband has been in the patrol for nearly two years and I can honestly tell you that the Patrol is the best thing that could have happened for us. My husband works just over 50 hours a week and yeah, the shifts are lousy, but we have learned to appreciate each other so much more and to make the most of every minute we can spend as a family. I have come to love our part of Arizona; the desert mountains and monsoons are charming to me now.

One thing that used to trouble me was my husbands safety and feeling safe at home with my kids, but I have learned to live with that fear as well. As my boys grow I teach them how to keep themselves safe, I have learned how to shoot every gun my husband owns, and I know that my husband is capable of protecting himself. Despite that, I do still double check (okay triple check) the locks before bed and I always tell my husband to 'be safe' when I am sending him off to work. It's funny because I thought that the hardest thing for me to overcome would be missing my family and friends. However, I have learned the meaning of the 'Border Patrol Family' and I have realized that the support network we have now is at least 100 times better then what we had before. In the time that we have been in Arizona I have seen how closely knit this family really is and I would not trade that for anything.